I shouldn't be taking this tone with you regardless, my apologies. 

GOt a very busy day today, so I have to carry on this work tomorrow. I will let you know how things go under the new theme :) 

Now try to change the theme to lighter theme and my suggestion is GeneratePress, that theme is free to use and have great customer support even we using free version.

Reduce your widget and get rid page builder.

Plenty of nice helpful people here willing to help, just for the sake of helping! They dont do it to make themselves feel good, by belittle people. 

Im not interseted in anything you have to say 

Thanks mate!

But its coming to a point where i am going to loose more functionality to my site than I am happy with. 

I like to have the statistic there. So I have to loose some page speeed for that and some other things

It is very frustrating to say the least. I am not going to be able to get my site up to the speed of this one, or any where near close. 

It runs a lot faster now, Lightspeed seemed to work best for me. Along with cloud flare, but there are still some issues. 

I am on VPS hosting with A2. 

I dont have time to do any more of this today so all the problems are going to have to stay there. 

Pretty much, i feel like the only way im going to get my wpforo up to a decent speed, is by using a lot less plug ins. This included the add ons. 

Then I have to find a new really light theme, and it wont look great :( 

Very disappointing really, I have put a lot of time into making this forum, but I dont think it will be able to reach the speed i want it to, without getting rid of too much functionality and the overall look of the site. 

Thanks for your help mate. My site is running much faster now though. I appreciate all your help. But I just dont think its worth it any more. It wont get much faster than what it is without sacrificing user experience. 

Because you have NOT indentified (yet) the cause of your slowness. Cloudflare will not help you (in this stage) and will only make debuging impossible.

Make sure you already activate cloudflare proxy and set cache to standard.

I think your problem is TTFB you can google it,

Are you using VPS or shared hosting?, if using VPS, make sure you improve VPS setting based your operating system and webserver software, example nginx or apache..

I'm using shared hosting without problem and can load fast.

Its as if i have done nothing.....

frustrating. Looks like I have to get a new theme 

I have tried all the plug in, and seem th think lightspeed cache works well, so far any way, this allowed me to move all of the databases to innoDB easily. 

Page builder is something i am going to get rid of, but i have to redesign the pages it would effect first. 

Im setting up cloudflare now :) ill let you know how that goes